No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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