i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
