I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
