My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
