We should be called the Road Head Warriors
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
