I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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