That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
