Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
