like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
