Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
