You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Two words: nipple clamps
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