I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
