Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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