Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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