Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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