Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
