So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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