I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
