Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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