Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
