Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
