I don't think brook has ever known best
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
