She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
