i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
she told me i tasted like america
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize