Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
