he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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