I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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