I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
