Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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