we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
