Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
