Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
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