There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
