I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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