Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My life is pants optional.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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