party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
