Will you blow on my dice?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
