Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My bed is full of blood and feathers
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
