problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
