And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
