Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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