Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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