After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
