Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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