Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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