I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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