I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize