I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize