i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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