Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
