She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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