I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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