My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
