My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
