Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
