An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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