they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
