my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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