Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
And then he peed in my hair
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