You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
