Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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