I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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