we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize