My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My pussy is not your playground.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
