Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
