Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
His nipple licking is glorious
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