You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
My vagina is very pro this idea
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
