good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you win again, gameday.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
