I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize